


gravity is nothing to me

by drfitzmonster



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, First Kiss, First Time, Hurt/Comfort, Lena is a Good Girl, Love Confessions, Praise Kink, Protective Top Kara Danvers, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:27:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21918310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drfitzmonster/pseuds/drfitzmonster
Summary: On Christmas Eve Lena is caught in a lie that puts her friendship with the only person she really cares about in jeopardy. She's sure that she's ruined everything but she finds that miracles still happen, even to Luthors.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 33
Kudos: 614
Collections: Supercorp Content Creators' Guild Secret Santa Exchange 2019





	gravity is nothing to me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [xxpaperflowersxx](https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxpaperflowersxx/gifts).



> my dearest dominatrix waldo, i adore you, and the opportunity to write for you was truly a gift. i stepped a bit outside of my comfort zone for this, and i'm just really glad you like it. it has been a pleasure to get to know you, and i love you and rufus with all of my heart.
> 
> [ **trigger warning:** brief suicidal ideation]

This was not supposed to happen. She was not supposed to run into _Kara_ of all people when she was leaving work (not because she wanted to but because her security staff deserved some time off). But there Kara was, right smack in front of her, calling her name as she attempted to dart out of the liquor store down the street from the L-Corp building and slip back into the car waiting for her at the curb.

“Lena! Hi! I thought you were going out of town for Christmas?”

“Oh, right. I’m... well, I’m not.”

Kara showed her a sympathetic frown, her head tilting to the side, the crinkle that always hurt Lena’s heart forming between her eyebrows. “Oh, ok. Did something happen? Are you ok?”

“No, nothing happened. I’m fine.”

“What made you decide to cancel your plans?”

“I... I never had any plans.”

Lena winced as Kara’s sweet face contorted for one brief moment before she was able to smooth out her features. She was definitely hurt but valiantly pretending not to be.

“But you said... the jet and your fancy dinner and the museum archives... That was all a lie?”

Lena wished the ground would open up and swallow her whole. “Yes.”

“Oh.” Kara was still trying to hide her upset, but her eyes betrayed her, becoming glassy with tears waiting to spill out. She cleared her throat. “Why would you lie about that?”

“Kara, I have to go. I hope you have a good time with your family.”

“I don’t understand...”

“Look, Kara. I appreciate your many attempts to befriend me, I really do. You’re very sweet. But I just don’t have time for friends right now. I think I may have lost sight of why I came to National City in the first place, and I’m very sorry for involving you in that.”

“Involving me? Lena we’re best friends.”

“I really do have to go now. I’ll see you at work.”

“But wait—”

Lena was already walking away, as fast as she could, tears stinging her eyes. She heard Kara calling her name, but she gritted her teeth, desperately trying to harden her heart as she left the only good thing in her life standing out in the cold like she meant nothing to her.

She’d made a royal mess of everything. She couldn’t believe what just came out of her mouth. She’d been watching herself from outside her body, screaming at herself to just tell Kara the truth god damnit. Tell her, tell her, before it’s too late.

But she didn’t. She was a coward, and now Kara was hurt and Lena was absolutely and utterly _alone_. She’d just tanked her friendship with the one person she actually trusted. The only one she really cared about.

Kara’d looked so utterly crushed when she realized Lena had lied to her, and she was heartbroken when Lena said “she didn’t have time” for her. She’d seen it in her eyes.

Lena would give anything to go back in time and fix it, tell a better lie, actually leave the country, stay holed up in her penthouse so there was no chance of Kara stumbling upon her while she wandering aimlessly because she felt so lonely she couldn’t stand being in her apartment.

Lena barely managed to make it back there before she broke down.

By midnight she’d imbibed more than enough scotch to render her unconscious, and yet, she still could not sleep. She’d given up on it, abandoning her bedroom for her office where she could watch news footage of Supergirl rescuing orphans or delivering toys to sick children or whatever schlocky nonsense was airing on a loop since it was Christmas Eve and miraculously uneventful on the catastrophic calamity front.

Fitting that it was raining buckets, thunder rattling like a growl in the distance, occasionally coming near enough to shake the windows a bit. Lena picked up a picture of she and Kara and held it in her hands, tracing Kara’s face tenderly before tossing it carelessly back onto her desk. She took a final swig of liquor from her crystal tumbler before slamming it down on the picture frame in anger that was fueled solely by the booze and loneliness and her own stupidity.

She’d ruined everything. Why did she need a reminder of her foolishness?

She couldn’t bring herself to throw the picture into the fireplace, so she knocked it onto the floor and instead threw her glass into the fire, where it shattered and threw up a few sparks.

She kept replaying the scene over and over in her mind. The hurt that was so plain on Kara’s face, the heartbreakingly earnest way she asked Lena why she lied. Why did she lie?

Because she was a Luthor: a snake, a betrayer, an adversary, a foil.

It was her fate. It was in her blood, unfortunately, however recently she’d had that one ray of hope crushed. She’d always held that close to her heart, that even though they raised her, she was not really like them, at least genetically speaking. And when that crumbled into dust in her hands she really had nothing left holding her back.

She was a Luthor. She would always be a Luthor.

Lena opened her desk drawer and pulled out a bottle of pills, more than enough opiates to stop her heart, especially on top of all the scotch she’d had. She shook it in her hand, listened to them rattle before popping the lid off and pouring them out onto the table.

What good was it to even be alive anymore if that was all she would ever be? Would it not be better to just end everything, leave her money behind for a number of charities to make use of, bulldoze the estate, sell every last scrap of property, end the curse, once and for all?

She idly counted pills into her palm. How insubstantial they felt, how innocuous they looked. All she had to do was wash these down with the rest of the bottle, and she’d be free. National City would be free. Supergirl would be free.

And Kara.

Kara Danvers with her sunshine smile and her unfailing kindness.

She would be so heartbroken when she found out. She would blame herself. She would carry that, like she carried every other unspeakable burden heaped on her immensely powerful shoulders.

Even Kara, superstrength and all, had a breaking point.

Would Lena be the one to push her past it?

Fuck.

She couldn’t go through with it. She couldn’t hurt Kara like that.

Except she already had. She’d seen it in Kara’s face when she found out Lena was lying.

She’d lied because she couldn’t tell her the actual truth: that the only plans she had were to drink the day away in her office, trying (and most likely failing) to keep her mind off her friend. Her friend who was spending the holiday with her family, certainly not giving Lena a second thought.

She closed her palm, opened it again, looked down at the pills. Then she threw them. They made unsatisfying little noise, dropping almost silently onto the wood floor. It was not enough, not nearly fucking enough. She put her hands under the lip of her desk, trying to lift it up and dump everything on the floor.

But it was too fucking heavy. Her expensive fucking desk was too heavy for her to lift. Of course it was. Everything was too heavy. She sank to the floor, suddenly feeling her inebriation fully. She gritted her teeth, letting out a lone _fuck_ , more growled than spoken, more anguish than anger.

Because she’d fucked _everything_ up.

She’d told the one person she really cared about, the one person she _loved_ , to get lost. Like she meant nothing to her. But Kara meant everything, which was precisely the problem.

Lena stood up, holding onto her unnecessarily heavy desk to keep from falling. It was suddenly far too stuffy and hot in her apartment. She couldn’t breathe. She needed air, needed the sharp, sobering cold, so she went and stood on her balcony, just letting the rain pelt her. It helped her clear her head.

All she wanted to do was apologize. She’d give anything to see Kara’s face so she could explain. But Kara wasn’t there, Lena had made sure of that. She had no one to talk to but the storm. So she yelled into the wind, knowing her voice would just be swallowed up by the din all around her.

“I’m so sorry Kara,” she called out into the night, her voice strangled with the sobs she couldn’t stop from coming. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you the truth. I told myself it was because I didn’t want you to worry about me, but really it was because I got scared. Scared of how much I love you, of how much I _need_ you. Kara, I’m so sorry. I wish I could take it all back.”

She had to stop for a moment, letting her head drop onto her hands where they gripped the railing, gritting her teeth and screaming against the convulsions wracking her body. It was almost inhuman, the noise she made, but she didn’t care, it was the only thing she could do to bear the pain.

She just wanted to take it back.

Her chest was so tight, it was like all the air had been sucked out of her and as she frantically tried to draw in a breath she had the horrifying realization that she might die out here, on her balcony, cold and alone, because she was a fucking idiot who couldn’t tell the truth when it really mattered.

She dropped onto her knees, and her world started to go fuzzy. Instead of fighting it, Lena closed her eyes and let herself succumb to unconsciousness. It was surprisingly warm and pleasant, this time, not like she remembered it being. She could almost smell Kara’s cologne, could almost hear Kara calling her name.

Lena.

_Lena._

“Lena? Baby, what are you doing out here?”

“Kara?” She rasped out weakly as she was lifted off of the ground, shielded from the rain by Kara’s cape. “I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry.” Lena sobbed pathetically into her suit, fingers numb but clutching at her.

“Sssshhh, it’s ok. I’m here now. Everything’s going to be ok.”

“It’s not, Kara. It’s not. I ruined everything.”

“No, baby, you didn’t. I’m right here. I know the truth now and I’m not going anywhere, I promise.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for.”

“Kara, you don’t understand.”

“But I do. I understand that I’m in love with you. And now that I know you feel the same way, nothing else on the whole planet matters.”

Lena started to tremble. She was reeling, her mind still trying to make sense of what was happening. It felt like a dream, like it might just disintegrate if she thought about it too hard. She was numb, cold, shaking so hard she felt like she might shake apart.

But Kara was there, keeping her together, carrying her to her bed, helping her into warm, soft clothes. She was pulling back the comforter for her, crawling in after her, and holding her, just holding her, whispering gentle reassurances in her ear until she fell asleep.

When Lena woke the next morning she was surprised to find Kara still there in bed with her. It didn’t feel real. Everything was indistinct, like a fantasy hastily cobbled together out of drunken desperation.

“Kara?”

“Hey there, pretty baby.”

“What are you doing here?”

“I’m holding you. Is- is that ok?”

Lena just started crying. It didn’t make any sense. Why would Kara be so nice to her after what she did? Why would she want to be anywhere near her?

“Lena,” she said softly, brushing the hair out of her face, “what’s wrong?”

“I don’t understand. I was so cruel to you. Why are you here after everything I said to you? I told you I didn’t have time for you, like our friendship doesn’t matter. Like _you_ don’t matter.”

Lena disintegrated into sobs after that. She felt so much shame, like a stone in the pit of her stomach, and the fact that Kara was hovering over her, trying to comfort her made her feel even worse.

“I’m terrible, Kara. I’m an awful, vile person. The way I treated you... I don’t deserve any kindness from you. I don’t deser—“

“ _Stop_ ,” Kara said, her voice gone steely. It was not a request. She threaded her fingers into Lena’s hair, tipping her head up gently but firmly. “I won’t let you treat yourself like this. Whatever you said to me before, it doesn’t matter. All that matters is that you love me.”

“But, Kara...”

“But _nothing_.” She moved her free hand to Lena’s waist and pressed her fingers into her skin. It didn’t hurt, but it was possessive, a reminder of the strength that Kara was constantly modulating. “Do you love me?”

“Yes.”

“Do you want to be with me?”

“Yes.”

“Are you ever going to push me away like that again?”

“No.”

“That’s right, you’re not. Because you’re a kind, caring person. A good person.”

Lena opened her mouth to protest but Kara stopped her with a finger over her lips.

“Shhhh, baby. I need you to listen to me. You. Are. _Good_ ,” she said, as she bent down to replace her finger with her mouth.

Lena melted into the kiss, ceding control to Kara. She’d spent so much time trying to fight the way she felt about her, to fight the desires she’d kept hidden deep inside her that Kara seemed to know and draw out of her instinctively. She didn’t want to fight it anymore. She couldn’t.

“I just want to give you exactly what you deserve. Will you let me?”

“Ok,” she said, the strain in her voice betraying her raw need.

Kara took Lena’s wrists gently and put her hands above her head on either side of her pillow. “All you have to do is tell me if I do something you don’t like, ok baby? Do you think you can do that for me?”

Lena nodded, swallowing thickly.

“That’s my good girl.”

 _My good girl_. The words went straight to her clit and throbbed there unexpectedly, making her cant her hips forward and whine breathily. She had no idea a phrase that would normally send her to a rageful place could do _that_ to her, could make her wet and needy and desperate to hear it again.

Kara chuckled, drawing her fingers down Lena’s jaw. “Oh, you like that, don’t you? You like hearing me tell you how good you are, how you’re good and you’re mine.”

Lena nodded again, squeaking out a very pathetic and strangled _yes_. She didn’t understand how Kara could possibly think she was good. Not only think she was good, but love her enough to want to have her and keep her. It was so hard for her to believe, but hearing Kara say it was absolutely intoxicating.

She was in a thrall as Kara took her clothes off, slowly and reverently, lavishing each newly exposed patch of skin with kisses and tender caresses.

When Lena was finally completely undressed Kara sat back with an awestruck sigh. “You are so beautiful, Lena.” She put her hands on Lena’s hips, rubbing gently with her thumbs. “God, you’re so soft.”

No one had ever looked at Lena like that before, with such affection and adoration. No one had ever treated her so gently, so tenderly. It was overwhelming, but Kara made her feel like it was ok to give in to it. So she did, going pliant beneath Kara’s hands.

Kara moved her hands down Lena’s legs, digging in ever so slightly with blunted fingernails. She stopped at Lena’s knees to push them gently apart, staring unabashedly at the apex of Lena’s thighs. “You have the prettiest pussy I’ve ever seen,” she said, moving her hands slowly up the inside of her thighs. “I bet you taste even better than you look.”

“Taste?” Lena asked, her stomach doing a nervous flip. “No one’s ever, um, done _that_ to me.”

“Is it something you want to try?”

Lena had never wanted to before. It was far too intimate. But now, with Kara, it was all she wanted. It still scared her, but her desire was stronger than the fear. She nodded, laying her head back and closing her eyes.

Kara kissed her way down Lena’s body, starting at her neck and moving slowly down her chest to her nipples, her ribcage, her abdomen, where she was sure to place a kiss beside her belly button. And then she was gone, the absence of her lips and tongue causing Lena to squirm and whine.

She was beginning to wonder if Kara had changed her mind when she felt a strong hand on each of her thighs spreading her open, pinning her to the mattress.

Lena’s anxiety must have showed on her face because the next thing she knew Kara was loosening her grip and taking her hand.

“Are you ok, baby? Can you tell me what you’re feeling right now?”

“I’m ok.” Lena lifted her head. “I’m just nervous.”

“It’s ok to be nervous, but we don’t have to go any further if you don’t want to. Ok?”

“Ok.”

“Do you want to stop? Do you want to do something else?”

“No. I want you to... to eat me out.”

Kara smiled, moving over her to kiss her softly. “You’re being so good, telling me what you want. I know that was hard for you.” She propped an extra pillow under Lena’s head, “So you can watch,” and moved back to her previous position, hands firmly on her thighs. “Are you ready?”

“Yes,” she choked out, absolutely unsure, but desperate to have Kara’s mouth on her.

Lena was glad Kara was holding her so firmly because when her tongue first made contact her hips jumped involuntarily, or at least they tried, but Kara held her still, licking broad with the flat of her tongue. She hadn’t even zeroed in on Lena’s clit yet and it was _so much_.

When Kara finally did, pulsing soft and hot against her she cried out at the bolts of pleasure it sent up her spine.

“ _Fuck_.”

Kara just kept working her up, relentless with the motions of her tongue. Lena didn’t know what she was doing exactly she just knew she didn’t want it to stop. It felt so fucking good.

“Oh god, I’m gonna come,” Lena whimpered breathlessly.

Kara lifted her head for long enough to say, “Just let go, baby. Come in my mouth like a good girl,” before latching on to her clit.

That was all it took. Lena tipped over the edge with a shuddering convulsion and a hoarse cry, hands moving to the back of Kara’s head, fingers clutching at her. Kara coaxed her through her aftershocks, and Lena clung to her even as she moved back up her body to kiss her.

Kara’s face was sticky with come and Lena moaned at the taste of it, panting into Kara’s mouth, still trying to catch her breath.

“You were perfect, baby. You came so beautifully, and you taste so fucking good.” She kissed her, hard, pressing her tongue into her mouth, licking at the come she’d smeared on Lena’s face. “Did you like it?” Kara asked with a smirk.

“Yes, god yes. I loved it.”

“Good, because I can’t get enough of you.” Kara pulled her into another messy kiss. She snaked her hand down Lena’s body, stopping over Lena’s mound, first just running her fingers through her pubic thatch before parting her folds with her fingers. “Oh, baby, you’re so wet for me. I want to fuck you so bad.”

“Please,” Lena gasped. She’d just orgasmed moments ago, but it had done nothing to quell her desires. Kara’s fingers were hot on her clit and all she wanted was for them to be buried inside her. She wanted Kara to open her up, to touch her, to know her.

Kara entered her so slowly, so carefully, all the while kissing her face and whispering praise in her ear. Once she bottomed out she just stopped and looked down into Lena’s eyes.

“My pretty baby. I love being inside you. You’re so hot and tight, clinging to me so nicely.” Kara stayed buried, using the strength of her hips against the back of her hand to go as deep as she could, hitting something inside of Lena that felt so good everything whited out at the edges.

All Lena could do was moan and gasp while Kara fucked her.

“That’s it, baby. You’re taking me so well. Look at you, so pretty around my fingers, such a good girl. Do you think you can take another? Can you take three for me, baby?”

Lena just let out a high pitched whine and bucked into Kara’s hand.

“Do you want to try?”

Lena nodded. Of course she did. That’s all she wanted. She wanted whatever Kara was going to give her because she’d never felt so safe and protected and connected with anyone before. She was opened up and bare before her, so vulnerable, and she knew Kara would never hurt her, would always keep her safe, she just had to let Kara guide her.

Three was a lot. Kara’s fingers were so thick, so substantial, and she felt so _full_. The stretch was almost too much, but Kara seemed to know exactly what Lena’s limits were and didn’t push her past them, just right up to the edge.

She pushed Lena to the edge and held her there until she couldn’t bear it anymore, finally giving her the mercy of her thumb on her clit.

Her second orgasm hit her like lightning lancing through her, and she heard herself moaning _oh, fuck_ , as her back bowed and she began to convulse around Kara’s fingers. It was so intense, and Kara kept rubbing at her clit, pulling more spasms out of her. Lena lasted far longer than she thought was possible.

Her soul might have left her body for just a moment, and when it slammed back into her it felt like every bit of her was made of lead. It was impossible to move, all of her energy had been sucked out of her, along with her breath, it seemed.

Kara stayed buried inside her, kissing her face and cooing at her while she came back to herself. “There’s my pretty baby. You left me there for a second. Are you ok?”

Lena nodded, still panting. “Mmhmm, yeah, I’m... I’m really—” she stopped to cough, her throat gone bone dry, “really good.”

“You are _so_ good.” Kara kissed her forehead. “I’m going to get you some water. You sound parched.”

Lena puffed her cheeks and blew a breath out. “I am.”

Kara pulled out achingly slowly, and Lena whined at the loss. She made a show of licking Lena’s come off her fingers before she hopped up, returning with a glass of water and helping prop Lena up so she could drink. She finished the entire glass greedily, letting out a sigh.

“You were so amazing,” Kara said, drawing idle patterns on Lena’s chest as she laid back against the pillows. “So perfect. You did so good.”

“Are you sure about that? I didn’t really _do_ anything.”

“No, baby, you did so much. You did _everything_. You trusted me, you told me what you needed, you let me open you up, let me fuck you. You were brilliant.”

“You still have your suit on...”

Kara looked down at herself. “Oh, yeah.” She sped out of her supersuit, which left her in a navy blue sports bra and boxer briefs, and honestly, it was probably better that Lena hadn’t seen Kara’s perfectly sculpted body and ridiculous abs earlier, when she was still so overwhelmed.

Because _wow_.

“Is that better?”

Lena reached out to run her hands over Kara’s midsection. “Much, much better.”

“Sorry about that. I got a little distracted.”

“Distracted?”

“Yeah, of course. You’re just so beautiful and soft and... yeah. You were perfect. You _are_ perfect.”

Lena’s face flushed with heat that crept down to her neck and chest. She was entirely unaccustomed to so much emphatic praise. “But I didn’t even get you off.”

“Well... You actually kind of did, when you came the second time. You were so fucking pretty and you felt so good on my fingers, I couldn’t help it.”

“Oh, wow, ok. I didn’t know that was possible.”

“I’m, um, very sensitive.”

“I still need to reciprocate, to repay you for making me come so hard. I think if I can ever move my arms or legs again I’ll be able to.”

“Baby, what are you talking about? You don’t have anything to repay me for. Do you understand what a gift it is to be this close to you, to be able to see you like this, to be inside you?”

“A gift?”

“Yes, Lena. One I am so incredibly lucky to receive. And as far as reciprocating, well, there is plenty of time for that later. Right now, all I want to do is hold you.”

“Even though I’m all sweaty and sticky?”

“ _Especially_ because you’re all sweaty and sticky.” She wrapped her arms around Lena and pulled her close.

Kara was so warm and solid, pressed against her back, arms enfolding her. It was blissful to be wrapped up in her, protected by her, to feel _secure_ , for once. She let out a contented sigh.

“Is this ok?” Kara asked, kissing along the top of her shoulder and up the side of her neck.

“Yeah, it’s perfect.”

“Mmmm, just like you,” Kara murmured between kisses. “Best Christmas present ever.”

“How do you know? You haven’t gotten all of your presents yet.”

“No, I’m sure.”

Lena turned over in Kara’s arms. “But what if I have something special planned for you?” she asked, tracing her fingers over Kara’s collarbone.

“Special, eh?” She picked up Lena’s hand to kiss it. “More special than what we just did?”

“Maybe... but you’ll have to wait and find out.”

“How long have you been planning this something special?”

“Well, I’ve been fantasizing about it since the first day we met, but it didn’t become an actual _plan_ until about five minutes ago.”

Kara laughed, her eyes sparkling and sincere. “I’m sure that will be _so_ incredible, and I am very excited to find out what you’ve been fantasizing about for three entire years,” she stopped to kiss Lena’s knuckles, “but nothing will ever compare to simply being where you are, being allowed to love you and know you.”

Lena tried to fight off the tears but it was a futile battle. When she sniffled Kara hooked a finger under her chin and tilted her head up minutely.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing. I just... What did I ever do to deserve you?”

“Lena.” Kara kissed her tenderly. “My precious Lena. You are a _good_ person. You deserve to be treated like the hero you so clearly are, and I would love nothing more than to do that, for the rest of my life, if you’ll let me.”

“I think I would like that very much.”

Kara smiled and cupped the side of Lena’s face with her hand, kissing her again so very softly and sweetly. “That’s my good girl.”

**Author's Note:**

> come yell (nicely) at me on [tumblr](https://drfitzmonster.tumblr.com)/[twitter](https://twitter.com/drfitzmonster): @drfitzmonster


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